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  • Emily Louise Perkins

June 12

I don't know how to say it so I'll just say it


I don’t know how to say it so I’ll just say it

You’ve captured me

I’m captured

And I know you don’t want me to say it but I’ll say it

You’ve trapped me

I cannot not think of you

I cannot not wake up thinking of you

I am in here and I cannot get out

And I do not want to get out

Let me say again that I do not want to get out

But if I wanted to

I couldn’t

Did you hear that

I do not have agency

I am not free in this

This costs me something

This is expensive

If I wanted to

I could not

I cannot

I am not free

If I was free I’d be free

If I was free I’d be missing

If I was free you’d be lost

And hear this please

By lost

Do I mean

I’d like to know what you think, actually

does lost mean

you’d be gone from me

or that I am your way?


I know what I'd want you to say


duck your head on the way in

the bars are cold

and touch me anywhere anytime

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