Emily Louise Perkins
There Was Only Morning
I had always betrayed God, even when I knew him. I’d been out here longing for the slow jam, the dark dance club, your wrists,
watch the way her left hip flicks when she dances and her ankle bracelet, the water ring on the bar, the wrong type glass for my cheap drink, a strangers arm, also wanting to be abandoned, press me, communal reckless night! We didn’t want to know each other, we just wanted to feel something easily, but this time there was no night.
There was only morning?
And the line went all the way back to the Methodist church, and he was singin’ to me about falling in love and I thought about falling, and the rainbow flags flew in the street, and the Queens beat their drums, and I did my best to walk along and behind. It was not time to abandon anything! It was time to say names. It was time to follow. And God was there. And the betrayal was a lie. It was just all the trying out there in the sweaty sunshine. It was just all the good, hard light.