September 19

There Was Only Morning

I had always betrayed God, even when I knew him. I’d been out here longing for the slow jam, the dark dance club, your wrists,

watch the way her left hip flicks when she dances and her ankle bracelet, the water ring on the bar, the wrong type glass for my cheap drink, a strangers arm, also wanting to be abandoned, press me, communal reckless night! We didn’t want to know each other, we just wanted to feel something easily, but this time there was no night.

There was only morning?

And the line went all the way back to the Methodist church, and he was singin’ to me about falling in love and I thought about falling, and the rainbow flags flew in the street, and the Queens beat their drums, and I did my best to walk along and behind. It was not time to abandon anything! It was time to say names. It was time to follow. And God was there. And the betrayal was a lie. It was just all the trying out there in the sweaty sunshine. It was just all the good, hard light.

May 28

Virtual people who are my friends

Oprah

Ina Garten

the guy from Foodwishes DOT com

the creepy Foodgeek guy

A few 20-something Christian youtubers and their sisters

Shaun the Irish sourdough baker

workout girls who say keep going

Brene Brown

Iyanla

May 20

Ten Cents

Second in line

lives in your pocket

she'll click when your knee aches

and jingle when you left-hand-jostle

to remind yourself she's there

her olive branch is

right next to her torch for you

and the Great Oak will remind her longing heart that even the most steadfast among us are cut down for a sideboard

She isn't first

if something happened you'd go for the dollar

she'd still sit, listening, imagining your face

waiting for your fingers

for even tarnished you know her shape

and can imagine, in your mind from the hospital bed

she's bright and shining like the first day you earned her

you look over at your pants folded neatly on the blue-backed sterile chair

did she fall out

or is she still there

you will not know unless you reach for her

again