April 27

In my dream a sad dream

I yelled at her / I said / ‘I have an endless sadness in me now and it’s not because of death It’s because of you’ / I’ve always belonged here’ / I spit / I was born here / I mutter to myself / These blinding overhead lights are my living room / they’ve turned my eyes grey / I’m a nearly retired donkey / There is a cut under my left eye from her cancer and my right droops tears from his car crash / I can smell the riotous blood in you / familiar / and I had just circled round to cheer you / I had just circled round to trot a little behind you, help you along *sniff Go! / Oh! / Betrayal. Your unripe eyes rolling / they haunt me / I’ll be doing this til I die / Will I die? / Or will I have to watch you all die / Eternity a failed theater production

April 21

nature will do it with you if you can't do it

a lone kitten in a tree

just look out over the landscape

stay out all night by the bonfire

sniff around for someone wearing Curve cologne

run for six miles and get caught in the rain gloriously

raise your arms like King Lear, lost in an evening the storm made at noon!

you don't need an art retreat when trotting along on the pavement

the tree's roots have already done the good work for you so you can rest

they cracked the cement so the grass could spit through

give it a nibble, go in like the tide

run up the ramp

don't think of them

nobody can tell you to tap in

you've always been on fucking tap

shhhh when turned on

look up

don't think of it

down there on the subway with your Crosby Stills

(Nash and Young firing the maid, making dumplings in their second home upstate)

don't get jealous

you're here in the thick of it

thorny branches

go back to the party

the stranger is new, or just an old friend whose a secret

kiss them open mouthed

a lot of tongue like the river

taste the ice water

now now

close your mouth and kiss a tulip because you've actually got one there

sure, you're sad

sure, you're separate

there is goodbye but no matter

the branch'll hold you just fine

April 19 (late)

I love younger women like Lorelei loved Rory

Let’s play with miniature versions of things

Can I buy you a good book

Did you know a cast iron pan can help with iron intake

Can I play you my favorite song

Let’s get take out and watch bad movies

Can I tell you very seriously

the mood of the man simply cannot dictate yours

I know

Sometimes you feel like you’re the clay and he’s the thumb

But that’s just because you’re an earthen creature

You warm when the sun shines

I love older women like Anne loved Marilla

I’m dancing for you, will you watch?